As an openly gay masculine female people are often surprised that I have two sons; and yes they call me Momma. That's what I am, and while I realize that I'm not the conventional version I take pride in my job and will give my life for my kids.
People, family and friends included, also are surprised by the fact that I have a close friendship with their father. When people are faced with situations they don't understand they begin to try and influence them.
I have a question for the world. Is it better for parents to have healthy joint interactions with their children without having a romantic relationship or should they try to force a romance and "stay together for the children" unintentionally creating a volatile environment that undoubtedly has a negative affect on the children?
I say to those that feel both parents need to live together and be romantically involved to be parents to open their eyes. My commitment is to my children. I do not have to be romantically involved with their father to parent my children together with him. My sons need both their mom and dad. It is both of our responsibility as parents to support them, protect them, and teach them how to be responsible adults capable of raising a family of their own. People often question the close interaction that I have with their father, and make suggestions that we should be together romantically.
WTF???
Why should I live a lie "for the sake of my kids"? How is that a healthy example for my children? When my children see their parents positively interacting together I know that they feel the love that we share for them. We do things together with our sons. I am grateful for the fact that we have the ability to support and raise our children together.
If another person suggests that we are getting together because they see us supporting our sons, I swear I just might snap. Don't force me to fit into your little box, that's not where my family belongs. Yes I said my family!
My kids deserve to have both of their parents involved in their lives. We both are committed to them. What we don't need is people trying to force their doctrines on us constantly claiming that parents need to live together in order to raise healthy, intelligent, well-adjusted kids. We will forever be their parents and our lives became intertwined from they day they arrived on this earth and our lives will remain that way until they day we leave this earth.
I know it is more healthy for my sons to have both of their parents focused on supporting them than for their parents focused on trying to forge a romantic relationship that is not there.
People need to realize that mother and father does not equal husband and wife.
Why are mothers/fathers who raise and support their children without help labeled single parents?
Why aren't they just parents?
Why is there such a negative connotation placed on raising a child without the help of the other parent? These responsible adults who have made the commitment to raise and support their children should be commended not condemned.
Those groups of parents like me and my sons' dad who are very active in their children's lives; committed solely to making sure they are showered with the love, protection, and guidance they need are a special breed. We have realized that it is not about us its about our children.
I am totally committed to the health, safety, and education of my sons; that's my job as a parent. It is not my job as a parent to be a mate. My sons are happy healthy and very intelligent, and I know it is because of the fact that their father and I realize that our commitment is to our children, not to being mates for each other.
To all those that find themselves raising and supporting their children in what society deems as an unconventional home, I commend you. To those parents who have realized that their job as parents is to support and raise their children and that alone, I commend you.
Mommy and Daddy does not equal Husband and Wife; the world needs more parents to commit to their role as mom or dad. Children need parents not marriages.
UrbanJournalist
People, family and friends included, also are surprised by the fact that I have a close friendship with their father. When people are faced with situations they don't understand they begin to try and influence them.
I have a question for the world. Is it better for parents to have healthy joint interactions with their children without having a romantic relationship or should they try to force a romance and "stay together for the children" unintentionally creating a volatile environment that undoubtedly has a negative affect on the children?
I say to those that feel both parents need to live together and be romantically involved to be parents to open their eyes. My commitment is to my children. I do not have to be romantically involved with their father to parent my children together with him. My sons need both their mom and dad. It is both of our responsibility as parents to support them, protect them, and teach them how to be responsible adults capable of raising a family of their own. People often question the close interaction that I have with their father, and make suggestions that we should be together romantically.
WTF???
Why should I live a lie "for the sake of my kids"? How is that a healthy example for my children? When my children see their parents positively interacting together I know that they feel the love that we share for them. We do things together with our sons. I am grateful for the fact that we have the ability to support and raise our children together.
If another person suggests that we are getting together because they see us supporting our sons, I swear I just might snap. Don't force me to fit into your little box, that's not where my family belongs. Yes I said my family!
My kids deserve to have both of their parents involved in their lives. We both are committed to them. What we don't need is people trying to force their doctrines on us constantly claiming that parents need to live together in order to raise healthy, intelligent, well-adjusted kids. We will forever be their parents and our lives became intertwined from they day they arrived on this earth and our lives will remain that way until they day we leave this earth.
I know it is more healthy for my sons to have both of their parents focused on supporting them than for their parents focused on trying to forge a romantic relationship that is not there.
People need to realize that mother and father does not equal husband and wife.
Why are mothers/fathers who raise and support their children without help labeled single parents?
Why aren't they just parents?
Why is there such a negative connotation placed on raising a child without the help of the other parent? These responsible adults who have made the commitment to raise and support their children should be commended not condemned.
Those groups of parents like me and my sons' dad who are very active in their children's lives; committed solely to making sure they are showered with the love, protection, and guidance they need are a special breed. We have realized that it is not about us its about our children.
I am totally committed to the health, safety, and education of my sons; that's my job as a parent. It is not my job as a parent to be a mate. My sons are happy healthy and very intelligent, and I know it is because of the fact that their father and I realize that our commitment is to our children, not to being mates for each other.
To all those that find themselves raising and supporting their children in what society deems as an unconventional home, I commend you. To those parents who have realized that their job as parents is to support and raise their children and that alone, I commend you.
Mommy and Daddy does not equal Husband and Wife; the world needs more parents to commit to their role as mom or dad. Children need parents not marriages.
UrbanJournalist
