The Most Wonderful Time of the year - originally posted on September 09, 2007

It's the most wonderful time of the year!
When the linebackers blitz, and the running backs twist, and ten thousand drunks cheer!
It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Gridiron season is finally here.

I love fall. The crisp breezes, jackets, the colors, the long nights, the trees, the leaves, the pollen, Thanksgiving, candy corn, "The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown", football every Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, two months until Basketball. Watching sports on all levels (high scool, college, professional) is it's most enjoyable at this time of year. I have even been known to watch baseball in October. Golf still has some shine too.

Everyone thinks that spring is the season of life, but fall is where the preparation is done. You can find squirrels and ants busy as hell this time of year. Shit, I sat on my porch yesterday and had a drink with a squirrel while he was on lunch break. We talked about the importance of building a future for your family; you know making life better for your kids. Trees send their seeds into the breeze with hopes they will find fertile ground. Bears stuff their faces so they cant get ready for their winter nap.

What do humans do in the fall?

Some of us congregate and live vicariously thru a group of individuals that possess the talents we all wish we had. Warriors that battle thru heat and cold, rain and snow; both on the field and in the stands. Football makes us believe that hard work and preserverance will eventually pay off. It makes us believe if we cheer hard enough we can push our team thru to victory. Talent can be dominated by the monentum gained from one improbable play. David can defeat Goliath; it happens every week when the underdog wins.

If I had a Y chromosome, I would have played football. I would have been a linebacker. Laying the hat to anyone who dared to enter my domain. There would be a highlight reel of my hits from high school thru college. I would have made my way into the league and made my mark on special teams. Doing the dirty work. Dominating my oponent play by play. Causing momentum changing fumbles in every game. I would be the fan favorite. Thousands of kids would be wearing my jersey. But females cant play football. So I have to live vicariously thru Lewis, Urlacher, Ware, and Merriman. I fell in love with football watching LT at Carolina when I was a kid. My father, the ultimate Carolina fan, would watch all their games on TV on Saturday. LT of course was too fierce. Broken bones lay in his wake. Cowboy fans all over love him for laying the most punshing hit on a Redskin ever!

Football is such a huge part of my life. I was taught the love of the game by my father. We spent countless hours together watching games. I hope one of my sons chooses to love this game the way I do. I cant wait to pour my love of the game into them.

I miss my dad the most during this time of year. He lives on in me. I cant wait to watch the game with him tonight. Cowboys and Giants in primetime.

Daddy I got the Boys by 10 over the Giants, who you got?

UrbanJournalist

Irony - originally posted September 22 2007

irony (noun) an event or result that is opposite of what's expected

Thank God that helping with fourth grade english has brought the dictionary back into my life. Big shouts to Chaos and Mr. Good's vocabulary assignments. Anyway, I got to thinking bout the word that most defined my life. As you can see that word for me is irony. Here are the ironies that define my life.

It's ironic that God gave me a woman's body and a heterosexual male's brain.

It's ironic that my son's call me momma, but my relationship with my son's is more like my relationship was with my father.

It's ironic that I had to turn to drugs to discover myself. ("Iz u rollin'.....bitch I mite be")

It's ironic that my ex-husband, father of my sons, and man who threatened to murder me when I told him that I loved women; is becoming my best friend.

It's ironic that I thought that I was healthy then July 4th came and was raped by multiple sclerosis.

It's ironic that I rediscovered my life while lying in the hospital afraid I was going to die.

It's ironic that the product of that moment of weakness was a strength that I never knew i had. (Na Na Now Dat that don't kill me, can only make me stronger....)

It's ironic that I really found love on the dance floor. (Luv plus, Baby)

It's ironic that 50% of left handed people are twins and a unknown number of twins die in the womb; I think my twin lives on inside my mind. Let me introduce you to us formally, I am Tian William (Bill) and my sister is Tianna Lynette.

It's ironic that I am the offspring of a bi-polar lefty, and so are my children. (We are just like our parents, if we are lucky we have evolved slighltly)

It's ironic that I've always believed I was a mutant and wished for the power to move shit with my mind like Carrie; and the nerve altering pills I take to treat my MS gives me a hyper state of consciousness, and I feel like if I take these pills everyday for 10 years I'll be like Professor Xaiver of the X-Men.

It's ironic that I just realized the the middle name that I grew up hating, Wilynetta, is "the best representation of who I am William + Lynette"; and when I was fortunate enough to actually ask my mother why she gave me that name that was her exact response.

It's ironic that it took Gemini sperm to finally split the twins minds that lived inside of me; Chaos and Deuce are both sides of me manifested.

It's ironic that I learned more about my father's life after he died than I knew when he was alive.

It's ironic that I've learned the most important things about myself by watching my kids.

It's ironic that I spend so much time watching everyone else and don't ever see who's watching me. (I'm a Rock Star Baby....)

It's ironic that I just realied that I have had more coversations with my mother than I realized. I wonder how strong her telepathy is. I'm going to help my boys develope their telepathy and ESP early use it to their advantage.

It's ironic that after 31 years of being angry with my bioligical mother for leaving me when I was two; I realize the sacrifice she made for me, and I want to thank her.

It's ironic that I just realized that Kesha is my rainbow momma. Thanks for loving me better than my stepmother ever could, and ushering me through the most diffucult times in my life.

It's ironic that everytime I go against my gut, the results are negative. (Spent a few moments in police cars as a result)

It's ironic that the results are not always favorable when I go with my gut; or maybe its not favorable because I don't act quickly enough.

I'm wrappin this shit up, cuz I've been sittin here way too long living my myspace dream.

Brilliant minds are fatally fragile and often misunderstood. Am I crazy, or is the ultimate irony the fact that I am destined to be misunderstood?

UrbanJournalist

Where's our Joshua - originally posted September 25, 2007

I am the descendant of both Native Americans and enslaved Africans. The history of my ancestors struggles is legendary. But I got to thinking about the fact that we are nearing 50 years since the Civil Rights movement began. How closer are we to the "Promised Land" that Martin Luther King talked about? What contributions has this generation of young black people made to realizing Dr King's dream?

I say that we Gen Xrs have dropped the ball. Each generation before us contributed to the advancement of Black people. Black people as a whole have access to a more money than our parents did, we have more people of color in government then our parents did, and we have barely done anything with the power that comes with it. We are the selfish generation. We have used our money to take care of ourselves. We are living the American dream, but what are we giving back? Do we not care that our schools are sub par? Do we not care that our kids , if they aren't educated, will not be able to compete for the jobs that we now enjoy?

When I was a kid in the mid 70s and 80s, education was cramed down our throats. The images of Dr. King and those protesters in the south gettin ate up by dogs for the right to vote, and the images of those black kids being ushered in the school by soliders after Brown v Board was passed were fresh in our parents mind. Many of them lived in the age of segregation and integration. What have we suffered through? It appears that we need to suffer before we are motivated to force change. We don't have any motivation to go against the grain. Maybe the motivation is there, the Jena 6 story showed that we are willing to get behind a cause, but we are too splintered. We need a leader.

Where is our Joshua? When Moses died, Joshua took up the torch and lead his people to that promised land that Moses spoke of. Have we been wandering in the wilderness since Dr. King died? Has our Joshua been murdered? Was Tupac our Joshua? Is our Joshua in prison, wrongly accused? Is our Joshua on the front lines in Iraq?

Is Barack Obama our Joshua?

Well I don't know, but I can tell you what this Gen Xr is going to do; this is how I'm contributing to the pursuit of Dr. King's dream. I am going to make sure that I raise two intelligent, college educated young men, make a positive impact on every person that they come in contact with. That judge people "by the context of their character and not the color of their skin."

Tupac said that he, "Would spark the brain that will change the world", he was right. He sparked my brain fifteen years ago when he said "Brenda's got a baby, but Brenda's barely got a brain". And I am pouring all of the knowledge that I have gained in my 31 years into my boys; my legacy and they will change the world in ways that I never could. That will be my legacy.

UrbanJournalist

Change is in the Air - originally posted December 11, 2007

Can you feel it?

The air is electric. Kinda feels like it does when its going to snow. The political jetstream is finally moved up enough to bring a front of change through.

Let me restate for those who may not know, I am a Black Republican, and I'm a Lesbian living in an openly gay relationship. I know it seems like an oxymoron, but my values and beliefs are more in line with the Republican party.

I believe in less goverment and free enterprise.

I believe that whatever wealth I am fortunate enough to gain, I should be able to use it to take care of my family for however many generations my wealth lasts. (Currently I am worth more Dead than Alive; sorry Chaos and Deuce don't spend it all in one place )

I believe in Individual freedom, and though most of my party members believe that I will burn in Hell when I die; they agree that I have the Right to live my life as I choose. After all, we are Free aren't we. Free people make and spend more money! It has been proven time after time. Amassing untold measures of wealth is the product of living the American Dream. You know...Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

I was born in to the Democratic party, and as soon as I was able to vote I did. Proud to honor the memory of those who suffered and gave their lives for me to have this right! As a young uneducated voter, the impression that I had of the Republican party was one of Racisist slave owners, but it was the most famous Repulican of all that wrote and signed the Emancipation Procimation.

Now, I want to take a minute to share my views on Racism. I love people. When I meet someone I can tell within the first 5 mins of our conversation, whether or not the are friend or foe. People of all races in my life, have been sorted into these two catagories. There really are only two sorting buckets that matter to most people; what you call them may differ from what I call them but the principle is the same. Friend/Foe; Good/Bad; Smart/Dumb; Healthy/Unhealthy, Wise/Foolish....I could go on for days...okay one more...Positive/Negative. Race is not the determining factor in any of these catagories, but anyone of these catagories can have a tremendous bearing on how sucessful you are in life. Fill the wrong bucket and you are doomed! Also, I think people need to remember that we don't have to like everyone we encounter; however, I feel it is your duty as an American citizen to treat everyone you meet, regardless of the social class, race, sex or sexuality, health, and mental capacity, with the RESPECT they deserve. Don't take it personally if I don't like you; I'm an Aquarius...get over it! Yes, majority of my friends and associates are Black, but that's because I don't know alot of Non-Black people. The few Non-Black people that have been fortunate enough to make my aquaintence have become some of the truest friends I've known (Shouts out to Deanna and SuSu). I know its cliche' but and I can't believe I'm about to say this, but, some of my best friends are white. I know I know... I just said.the most famous proclimation for racists in America, but I really only have about 5 friends, and 2 of them ar white so you get the picture. I teach my sons to judge people by what they do, not by their words, apprearance, neighborhood, parents, or race.

Now that I have beat that horse to death, let me bring it full circle. It wasn't until I went to college (Go Tarheels!) and had my horizons expanded, that I realized that I was not following the words of Dr. King. When I began to judge people by their character, I began to realize that alot of my personal views were too radical for the Democratic party.

I feel that state government is the most effective when it comes to helping people, because they are accessible to the people that need help.

Taxpayer money should be used for the greater good of society as a whole, by helping those people who have some obstacle preventing them from pursuing the American dream. Whether it be through providing food and shelter, education, Healthcare, or protection from lawbreaking Americans or threatining foreigners.

Anyway I said all of that to say this.

This is an exciting time in American history! We are living in a time in which I can prouldly say I am a Black Republican; where a Woman and a Black man are locked in a head to head battle for the Democratic nomination, where animated programming is making the greatest political statements (Kudos to last Sunday's American Dad episode sheding light on the fact that you can be a Homosexual Republican; "The Grand Ole Party just got grander" - Stan, American Dad), and the face of the Republican party is becoming more diversified.

Even though my political views are more in line with the GOP; I reserve the right to vote for whichever candidate has the most determination and political pull to make this country a better place for my kids.

There have been a series of minor successes politically and major failures over the last 20 years. Each Leader from Reagan to GW Bush have failed to see how their policies will affect the Nation over time.

Reganomics ended the Cold War, but the War on Drugs has created a class of people that have no hope of ever reaching the middle class.

Free trade was the highlight of the Clinton era and everybody got rich with their dot coms, but no one thought about how cheap and inexpensive it was to set up shop in a 3rd World country; and all of the textile and manufacturing jobs that help bolster the Middle Class would be shipped over seas because it just makes business sense to pay someone $7 and hour with no benefits to work harder and longer, than to pay an American worker $20 an hour plus time and a half for overtime and full benefits to do the same job. All of these unemployed workers lead to major problems economically and the highest unemployed worker numbers in years. And don't even get me started on the Bin Ladin debacle.

GW Bush gave communties more power and money to help the disenfranchized around them, but what the HELL are we STILL doing in Iraq?

All of these situations left voters wondering if there could really be any change. That's why both Al Gore and John Kerry (I had to goggle the election to find Kerry's last name, he was so forgettable) could not win their elections.

But this year its different, and I believe the catalyst for change is Oprah Winfrey!

Oprah is the single most influential woman in American history! Oprah has finally brought her support and huge following of women into Americn politics. When Oprah is involved, change happens! It just does. She has the ability to keep issues in the forefront. Her involvement in this election insures that the political dicussions will be relavent to the average American, and not just to the geeks and wealthy. Change will happen because people will talk about the real issues, and not get caught up in the hype. Every candidate has to raise their bar, because she is endorsing a candidate and he will talk straight to the people because of the Oprah influence. She isn't even running, and she is the most influential person in the political arena today! I wish she were running for President, but why would she give up here billion dollar empire to "run" the country? Maybe she feels like she can do more by continuing to change peoples lives one person at a time, but more importantly, she will bring millions of voters to the polls this year!

This year everyone has a candidate they can get behind, a stake in the political discussion if you will. Black people will be involved because of Obama, Women will be involved because of Oprah. Clinton supporters will back Hillary.

It's so nice to welcome you Democrats back to the political discussion. Now lets settle our differences and get some work done!

Change is finally on the way! All of our futures just got a little more secure.

UrbanJournalist

Good Tidings of Great Joy- originally posted December 16, 2007

In the spirit of the holiday season i bring you my favorite holiday monologue, most memorably performed by linus in the charlie brown christmas ....

"Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger."
– Luke 2:10-12

here are some good tidings Tian style....

as i spend this morning reflecting, i am thankful for having such wonderful people in my life. i am fortunate to have found laughter in every corner of my life, no matter how dark. thank you all for sharing those good times with me.

i'm glad i had the chance to laugh and live witcha; if you are my family. we are some dysfunctional kats but yall still my niggas- reppin 200 OG til the death!!

i'm glad i had the chance to laugh and learn witcha; if we met at school. go panthers and tarheels and WT eagles!

i'm glad i had the chance to laugh and praise God witcha; if you ever heard me play the drums at the Anointed Ones Church or at one of the many churches we visited. i was privildged to have played with some of the most talented musicians on the east coast for nearly 10 years! thank you Shena E for showing me that females could play percussion instruments too.


i'm glad i had the chance to laugh and get fucked up witcha; you know who you are, fucking alocoholics


i'm glad i had the chance to laugh and dance witcha; thank you ladies in CCs, Liquids, 9, and various other clubs in NC, SC, and DC and thank you TK, Kay, and Lil Buddy for keeping my drunk ass up on the drive home


i'm glad i had the chance to laugh and blazzzzze into infinity witcha. and can somebody hook your boi up wit a mvp/vip card, some coupons, or something? THC changed my life yo!


i'm glad i had the chance to roll withcha. son, u know u coulda gave me dem blue joints for $10 a piece; am i rubbing the couch? how long have i been doing that?


i'm glad i had the chance to laugh and go to work witcha; at first i just had work, but erybody knows you never saw me working, but i always got my work done!


i'm glad i had the chance to laugh and love ya if you ever had my heart, and thank you for the lessons our time together taught me

i'm glad i had the chance to laugh and die withcha; if we ever shared an intimate moment. (even if you haven't read shakespeare you should be able to use the context clues to figure this one out. if you still don't get it please delete me from your friends list right now and go read! For real!)


i'm glad i had the chance to laugh and blog witcha; if we have never met. and thank you for reading my random thoughts and looking at the pictures of me and my lil dudes

i'm glad i have the chance to laugh and sing until infinity witcha, sunshine. thank you for bringing love, music, religion, faith, style, beauty, class and inspiration back into my boring geeked up life.

i'm sorry if my negativity has ever ruined your day
i'm sorry if my selfishness has ever made us miss an opportunity to connect
i'm sorry if my aloofness has made you feel inferior
i'm sorry if my choices have hurt you

peace and blessings to you all this holiday season


i'm still here; i'm still sexy, and i'm still laughing.

UrbanJournalist

A Day in the Life

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