Geekboi In Training

What on Earth am I being trained to be?

As I take a look at my life right now in this moment I see myself teetering on the edge of a personal breakthrough. And even though I immediately get an image of Sister Gillespi's karate chop choir directing arm (shouts to all my fellow Breakthrough Choir members...lol), I'm not talking about a Spiritual Breakthrough. Nor am I talking about a Financial Breakthrough (sorry Mom). I am on the cusp a a Personal Breakthrough.

On January 25, 2006 I stood underneath the stars and declared that I would stop EXISTING...and actually LIVE. I had given 30 years of my life to other people and it only resulted in my misery. Every aspect of my life was the result of a choice I had made for someone else. I knew that my life would be different; I just had no idea how much I'd be right.

My anger at my mediocre life forced me to start a revolution. I quit my job. I moved my family. I found a career. I traveled. Indulged my kids. Found love. I mean I really enjoyed life.

I began to create again. Music had returned. Softly sung Alto tones sometimes woke me, and inspired me to write. Her silhouette beckoned to be drawn. Odd beauty my muse. It was the 2nd time in my life that I was saved by The Arts.

But only God knew that was just the High before the Low. Only He knew that my love would fade long before my health did. That my right side would suddenly stop working. That my kids would no longer be in the next room, and that their faces would be replaced by those of my roommates'. That she would say, "I'm getting married tomorrow" as I lay naked watching her get dressed to leave. That I would spend my Valentine's Day alone in the hospital. That I would have to fight to regain custody of my sons. That once I started to rebound she would try to hook me again. That I would find the strength to walk away from her and close the door behind me. That I would find the courage to be alone.

But here again...only God knows what His plan is for me.

Happiness is an achievement; unfortunately it must be preceded by Pain.

I feel like a modern day Job, even after I lost it all I refused to curse him. (I got mad and challenged Him to a few jousts but never cursed him).

I realize it all must be preparation for something...

Now my journey has me studying great thinkers from the past and present, and realizing that I have more in common with them than I thought. Learning to live my life based on principles, not in a never ending chase of doe. Experiencing unconditional love and true friendship. Laughing from my soul, and smiling in the dark. Living and Loving.

I realize that I swallowed a Red Pill on my 30th birthday, and ever since that moment I've been in a training simulator.

Now I'm starting to anticipate blows and form bonds with like-minded strangers, its almost time for that proverbial "Untelevised Revolution".

Once my training and transformation is complete; I'll be sent back into The Matrix...Armed with Jokes and Experience...Ready to Kick ass and Take Names. My fight scenes are gonna be EPIC!

...Hate It or Love it; Either Way You Felt Somethin'