Misplaced

On this, the late Micheal Jackson's birthday, I began looking at his life and realize that as long as he conformed he was accepted. The minute he showed the world a small portion of who he was and what interested him he was ridiculed and rejected. People wondered why he bought the Elephant man's bones, or built an amusement park in his backyard. Once he built a safe place for himself he retreated to it and became misplaced in society. I connect with his need to do that and decided to reflect on how I am misunderstood and subsequently misplaced.

As a masculine female, I experience discrimination and judging eyes almost on a daily basis. I am never comfortable.

If I walk into a women's restroom I'm looked at like I'm lost, and if I stay when I come out of the stall; I see women clutching their daughters like I'm the Medusa and they will turn to stone if they look at me.

If I go out to a heterosexual club, playas hate on me because they are intimidated by my natural masculinity and feel the need to remind any female that makes an advance toward me "that's a girl." As if I walk around pretending to be a man. I'm just being me, just living my life. I thought this was America.

And most surprisingly, the place that I should feel the most at home, a gay club, is the place that causes me the most frustration! Guys look at me and think I'm a gay man and suddenly engulf me, standing all around. Only to be disappointed when they find out "that I'm a girl". Other masculine gay females hate on my effortless and natural masculinity and quickly clutch their girls up as if I were going to walk out with all of them. I wish!

There is no place for me. I feel most comfortable when I'm home. I try to bring the things that I love in my house. People thought Michael Jackson was weird for building Neverland Ranch, and that Hugh Heffner was going to lead us all to hell when he built the playboy mansion. All they did was build them a place they could be comfortable in, and let me tell you if I had their doe my crib would be talked about foe sho!

Misunderstood individuals wind up retreating to their homes and wind up becoming even more misunderstood and misplaced.

For all those reading this, please honor Micheal's legacy by opening your minds some. Stop labeling people. We are Americans too, we deserve a right to be free in our own skin.


UrbanJournalist

You Ole Heathen

Why "Christians" feel that they are the only ones who "know" God? just because u sit up in a church on Sunday doesnt make you a moral expert. please keep your moral doctrines and religous theories to yourself.

Back up and get out of my face! It is not your job to save my soul; ONLY God can judge me. DON'T throw stones if you live in a glass house.

"You Ole Heathen"- Aunt Esther

UrbanJournalist