Now I Understand

On July 4, 2007 I woke up, fell out of bed, and my life changed.  I lost my health, lost my job, lost my sons, lost my lady.  I cursed God and wondered how he could do these things to me.  I wondered how he could take away everything I  worked so hard to attain...thats just it, I had attained it.

Me, the college dropout quit her job at Wells Fargo paying her 35,000 in 2006 to strike out in a different direction; one that landed me in a job that paid more than double.  I was in a relationship that I thought would last forever...man was I wrong, but it was for the best, now she's married happy and raising her first child.  My sons moved back to Greenville with their father and blossomed in their personalities.  Once I regained my health they refused to return to Raleigh to live with me, they didnt want to loose their friends.

Their doing so, forced me to move back to Greenville and transfer to Pitt Community College from Wake Tech to finish my Associates in Arts degree so I could transfer back to Carolina to finish my Journalism degree. At PCC I discovered their Web Technologies program and became re-enveloped in my love for art, clean lines, and technology; found a new way to express myself creatively.

Moving back to Greenville also connected me to my Nala.  She is the catalyst to it all, the real reason I finally finished!  I've started millions of things, hell I transferred into Pitt with 40 credits, never finishing one, til NOW!  Were it not for her being the Mickey in my corner telling me to get back out there after taking a beating in every round; I would have quit, just like I had done so many times before.

Now Im a Web Designer, with two Associates degrees, re-enrolling in the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill in the fall to as a Junior to begin working on my Bachelors then Masters in Computer Science, and minor in Journalism.

All of this is the result of one moment...a moment that I loathed for 7 years.  I wondered why for so long, why me, why now, why this.  Now I have the answer.  It took something drastic to bring me to a place where I would pay attention to what was important; no matter how little you have you still have the ability to help someone, take time to make memories with your family, do the things you love, love the people your with, and never ever stop chasing your dreams, take up your cross and follow, become the thing you were created to be.

I lost everything but I gained so much more, something so much more lasting.  I went from 70,000 a year to disability, and Im a better parent, my kids a better students and happier.  How can you get more with less...with God, that's how.  Thats the lesson He wanted me to learn all a long.  In the future though, I hope Ill be a lot less hardheaded and just listen the first time when God whispers it to me...

...Hate It or Love It; Either Way You Felt Something