For Grandma Matt

There will never be another like you
Sassiest Lady I've ever known
Never left the house unless she was "Lookin' like sumthin'"
Daughter, Friend, Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Great-Grandma, Great-Great Grandma
Mrs. Mattie Lee Jones, you lived a full life
It was in this building, huddled around a heater with my 20 cousins
I learned my first memory verse; our first Sunday School teacher
We knew it was time for church when we heard you singing
"It's so good to be in here" but is it good to be here today?
The selfish part of me wants to say no
Who will I watch Matlock with?
Who's going to be the Mayor of Myrtle Avenue?
But I know you were ready
I was a Grandchild even before my father became your son-in-law
I always felt like one of your favorites
We all did
Thank you for showing me that you NEVER close the door on your family
Thank you for those rides to school no matter how many days in a row I missed the bus
I'm now immune to whiplash
Thanks for those fishing trips to Whichard's Beach and vacations to White Lake
It's because of you I no longer have rollers on my butt
Only person who could lick dishes clean faster than I could wash 'em
Sorry for the times I touched your wigs, and your pistol, when you sent me to fetch something from your dresser
Thanks for the year you helped raise my son, can't call what you did daycare
He's such an old man because of his time with you
Four months ago I asked you what the first thing Granddaddy Cecil said when you guys first met
You smiled and said "Hey Sweet Thang"
I know those were his words when you guys met again
I'm envious of the love you two shared
I'm proud of you and the life you lived
I love you; I know you're resting

Auld Lang Syne

So my 18 is 18 and it feels great. For the first time in years I've had back-to-back years of positive emotional progress, even though it book ended a plethora self-inflicted digressions. I truly love my life. I love my Lady and my Clones, and am eternally grateful for the unconditional love and support they give me...wait is this the same ole' Charlie Brown?

Yerp! It sure i--well...ACTUALLY it's not(in my best Dion voice)! This is the new and improved me. The semi-mature me, the self-confident me (well I've always been that me), the me with healthy love in my life, the entrepreneurial me! I'm seeing the potential future in my life get a few additional optional endings right before my eyes.

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, and treat those two impostors just the same...Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,and—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son - Rudyard Kipling

This has been recurring theme in my thirties (one at which I struggle with tremendously being a Bi-polar Aquarius), brought to my attention by my Dear Ole'Uncle Alvin, drilled to the core by Phi Alpha Nu (kinda missed the cut on that one...dern narcissism), and one that I am slowly getting closer to mastering; and by mastering I mean getting a good ole' American "C".

Thirty-five has taught me how to love and be loved. To give of myself in ways I never knew possible. That fidelity in my relationship could be more than just a dream. That the love I show my loved ones may never be reciprocated. That mind over matter is a valid principle. That dreams are still worth having. That I am still pretty damn intelligent. That I am severely under paid. That my children are listening. That it's now or never.

With that being said, I don't have time for the bullshit I used to have time for. I'm busy working on my future and family's future. If your influence in my life isn't positive please know you are soooooo last year!

Happy Birthday Me!

Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?

HELL YEAH! F- 'em!

...Hate It or Love It; Either Way You Felt Somethin'

Dear Newt Gingrich

Dear Newt Gingrich,

First I want to let you know who I am. I am a College Educated, Black Republican who voted for George W twice proudly. I am a lover of all things free enterprise and I want the Government to stay out my life, most notably my bedroom. After having watched you in last week's South Carolina debates I have a few issues I want to raise with you.

The first being, in 1998 when you were Speaker of the House, you LED the Impeachment against President Bill Clinton for having an affair with one of his employees. We now know that you, in fact, were doing the EXACT same thing with your current wife, Callista; that is, having an affair with one of your employees. Shouldn't you be called to the carpet on your hypocrisy, Sir? You are running for the White House as a champion for Family Values, when you have cheated on two of your three wives, and after hearing how "Callista doesn't care what you do", we may know why you haven't cheated on her. My point is this, you want the right to make sure that I can not marry my Girlfriend because I am a Woman, it is morally wrong, and destructive to the structure of the family unit. Isn't Adultery also morally wrong and destructive to the family unit? Neither the "blood sucking News Media", nor your Republican peers have demanded an answer for your hypocrisy.

The second issue I have with you and your campaign is this; your political views and policies seem to be extremely anti-Black and it appears that they may be based in racism. Again, while Speaker of the House, you constructed the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Act, much of which I agreed with and supported. I agree that Welfare should be a roadway to employment. Some of your statements are have factual merit and can not be argued, I actually agree with some of the things you say. I too feel Black people demand paychecks instead of food stamps. However, I continue to find some of the generalizations you make about Blacks to be filled with racial undertones, and it only serves to remind me that you grew up in the Segregated South. Saying Black people have low work ethic is racist. Saying that Black people want a hand out is racist. Are there generations of Black people who have been satisfied with living off of public entitlement programs, YES! Is it because they all have low work ethic and want handouts, NO! Is it because they are severely under-educated and under-employed, YES!!

Every other ethnic group of Americans came to this county because they wanted a better life; my people were forced to immigrate, going from freedom to property in the blink of an eye. There are millions of Blacks who have felonies on their records just because their drug of choice to use or sell was crystallized, not powered cocaine. I am only THREE generations from slavery, (a statement my President could never make, his father was African) and miles away from ethnic equality. I am working hard to take my sons one step closer to the American Dream than I was. It is statements like the ones you continue to make that make me feel racism won't die until the ones who grew up supporting it d--let me stop right there before I make a racist generalization. It is clear to me that American policies reflect the racists views of those in leadership.

I hope that you in fact do win the Republican nomination so that President Obama can check you on your bullshit, you can't trump him on family values. I will be at the edge of my seat watching a debate between you and President Obama. I can't wait to see you two go at it, it's going to make for some great sound bytes. You are the best Republican in the race, but I think the bi-racial Obama has a better vision for the country. I will vote for you to be the Republican nominee on Super Tuesday, but I won't vote for you in November; not because you're a hypocrite but because you're racist.

...Hate it or Love it; Either Way You Felt Somethin'

The End of HIV

My Generation is the first to have grown up with HIV. When I was 5 years old in 1981, the first person was diagnosed with the virus called Human immunodeficiency virus or HIV. There are many rumors about the origin of this virus and it's eventually cryptic domination it has held on several ethnic and social communities, but there is no doubt that the HIV virus has taken 30 million lives worldwide to date. That's a MASSIVE amount of people. In honor of World AIDS Day I wanted to do my part to raise awareness among my peers, Blacks and Homosexuals.

We are a nation of 308 million. 224 million are White. 50 million Hispanic. 39 million are Black. 9 million are Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Transgender. 1.2 million are living with HIV Caused Diseases.

HIV has plagued the globe for 30 years. This epidemic touches lives on all continents and it permeates all communities. (Red I used permeate for you.) However, the end is in sight. 2010 may have been the year of turning points in the realm of HIV. It is the year that scientists revealed there were segments of the population genetically immune to HIV, is the first year that the global number of new infections did not increase, and it is also the year that an infected patient with leukemia was given a bone marrow transplant and now lives HIV-free...Yeah Yeah I know...great news right? But don't go flinging your condoms off in celebration just yet.

According to the Center of Disease Control and Prevention last year roughly 56 thousand new people were infected with HIV just last year. That is a equal to the population of Greenville, NC. Insane right? HIV is growing at an exponential rate in the Black community. In 2009 44% of all new infections were Black. Black Men who have Sex with Men (MSM) accounted for 73% of those NEW cases. The remaining 30% were women who contracted HIV through Heterosexual sex. Yeah you just read that...HETEROSEXUAL sex. That confirms some of those MSNs haven't been totally open with their Female partners about their sex lives, but what else is new? I pray for people who are in the closet sexually, however I have nothing but contempt for "Down Low Brothers". Their cloaked lifestyle is killing our community, but I'm going to stop before I go of on another tangent...this editorial is about HIV.

The HIV virus is highly concentrated in blood, vaginal fluids, and semen. Unprotected sex and infected needles account for the majority of virus transfer, but we all know there are random unfortunate exceptions. Knowing your status is 90% of the battle. I know that I am HIV-negative because I was last tested in 2010. I remember the very first time I was admitted for an MS exacerbation the Nurse being shocked because I was eager (and relieved) to find out I was still negative. Lesbians can contract HIV if performing cunnilingus on an infected female during the time surrounding her menstruation (pre, during, and post). We all need to wrap it up, grab those condoms and dental dams and protect yourselves.

It is important to KNOW YOUR STATUS. I can't reiterate that enough. Know your status! I still hear that nurse's surprise echoing in my head, "I've NEVER had any one ask before." NEVER? Well I'm glad I was her first, and I hope I wasn't her last. I'm even more thankful that I'm Negative, I don't think my revolting T-cells could handle that too. If you don't know your status, get tested! There is help for you if you are positive. There is life after HIV. There is actual hope for a cure. Maybe not in my lifetime but in the future. Maybe one day we will actually see the end of the HIV.

...Hate It or Love It; Either Way You Felt Something

Adoption Over Abortion

The key to raising teenagers is being able to relate to them while maintaining their respect. You know like OGs run their crews; cool enough to chill and break bread on some occasions, but can at any moment give an order or reprimand and in turn be received and obeyed. But before this tangent gets any longer I'm gonna cut it short. I caught an episode of MTV's Teen Mom recently with my oldest clone, and it sparked some interesting thoughts in my head.

For those of you who don't watch this show, MTV has been following several teenagers for about three years, from pregnancy until now. Most of the babies are toddlers now. One group of the teen parents they are following choose to give their baby up for adoption. Now at first glance, I wondered why MTV would continue to include a couple on their show about parenthood who opted for adoption; however it wasn't until I laid down to sleep that night that I saw the brilliance in the controversy.

The rest of the couples on the show are dealing with being young parents, you know, baby mamma drama, child support, absentee fathers, the full gambit. The couple that opted to adopt for the most part are living normal teenage lives. Both are in college and moving forward with their lives. Don't get it twisted though, they are showing the reality of living with that choice is. This young girl periodically has to deal with her mom's outburst of anger in which she calls her "stupid for giving up her grandbaby" along with the bouts of her own guilt she battles. It's this part of the story that struck me the most. I had never really thought about what it must be like for a young girl to have to deal with a parent who second guessed their decision, and from what I see this poor girl is gonna have some permanent psychological damage courtesy of dear old mom.

MTV's obvious attempt to constantly show this couple having the time of their lives though isn't lost on me. It always seems that during the moments when the other couples are experiencing the most drama, the adoption couple is either some where getting engaged or parting it up in some night club. At first I was furious about it. I felt the young girl's story no longer fit. I mean it is called "Teen Mom" and she no longer has a baby. Once I got over myself, I realized that too often young girls take on the responsibility of raising children when they are not ready because their religious convictions won't allow them to consider abortion and their social circles won't allow them to consider adoption.

While I firmly stand behind a woman's right to choose, I know first hand what it feels like to wrestle with that very decision, and I know women who wish they could go back and swap the -bor- for a -dop- in their choices. If MTV's portrayal of this young girl's life encourages another young lady to follow suit, they may end up doing more to quell the problems of teen parenting and poverty than any government program ever has.

When a teenager gets pregnant I think it is important to remind them that while you do have the right to have an abortion, you have other options...

...Hate It or Love It; Either Way You Felt Something

Back To School

August means back to school.

Americans are getting educations, but aren't learning anything. I mean we know what we need to pass the test, but we rarely retain knowledge of things that aren't related in some way to Pop Culture. We know everything that is going on in Hollywood and on Reality TV, but we don't know how many electoral college votes our state has. (Last I checked North Carolina had 15).

I'm not saying that because you don't know the geek facts of history that you are unlearned. I am saying that in our homes we are failing our children by feeding them more TV than History. We can't know where we're going if we don't know where we've been, and these kids will be the ones pushing our wheelchairs.

Think of how much history you can recall accurately...Go ahead. I'll wait. (Walks to the fridge and grabs a brownie & some juice.)

You got it in your head?

Not quite as much as you were taught huh?

Now realize that your kids probably know less than you do...sad right?

Before you go blaming the dilapidated underfunded education programs across this nation, point that finger at yourself. Schools were designed to expand on the skills that you SHOULD be taught at home. Our public education system was created as a PARTNERSHIP between the parents and the teacher. That's why we have HOMEWORK. The classroom is not supposed to be the first place your child becomes exposed to the things they are learning whether it be the alphabet, writing, reading, math, or history.

We as parents are letting our kids down. We have taken a passive role in our kids education for too many years. I say "WE" because I'm leading this pack. We haven't been holding up our end of the bargain. Our kids should know at least as much as we know (whether correct or incorrect). That way they already have a base of knowledge that the teacher can build upon. It's much easier for a teacher to repair a partial or incorrect theory, than it is for them to teach the entire principle.

I challenge each parent out there to join the PTA at their kids school. Communicate with your child's teachers about their goals and your child's progress on that goal. Let's check homework once again. We all are guilty of not doing these things for whatever reason. Hell I'm disabled and still remember blocks of times were all I did was take their word for whether or not their homework was completed.

This is a new year! Time for a fresh start! I don't know about you but our children are competing with kids from India, China, and South America for the jobs we are barely holding on to now. Education is the key to all success, and it's time we stopped blaming our teachers for our kids shortcomings and gave them a hand.

Back to school isn't just for them, its for you too. So, roll up your sleeves, grab your scrap paper and some erasers, and put a cold one in the fridge to help ease that frustration you'll feel after homework is done or to kick of the celebration when the grab that difficult concept.

Together Everyone Achieves More

...Hate It or Love It; Either Way You Felt Something

Letter to the Tea Party

Dear Tea Party,

Let me begin this letter by telling you that I am a member of the Republican party and I voted both times for George W. (affectionately known as Dubya). I voted for him both times because I felt he would do a better job of defending America against her enemies than the other guy and I stand by my decision; although the economy has severely suffered from these expensive military campaigns to colonize the Middle East (didn't exactly vote for that shit but oh well what can you do). I'd dare any nation to fuck with us because we have a Trillion Dollar Deficit; we spent most of that Trillion on Guns. So I'd like to thank Dubya for stock piling the weapons cache and making sure that America had the capacity to protect herself from all her new enemies.

That being said, what I think you guys are doing is totally wrong. You are holding America hostage by refusing to vote for the debt ceiling until the President and the rest of Congress agrees to your plan to further increase to divide the Haves from the Havenots thru cuts to Entitlements, Dept of Education, Medicare & Medicaid. (raises both middle fingers).

I mean seriously you are asking the poorest Americans to pay for the wars we been raging in the last 10 years. We burned through our deficit surplus before Dubya's first term was over, so there really is no way anyone can deny that his policies played a major role in the ballooning of our national debt.

Why are you totally opposed to removing the tax breaks that Dubya gave the wealthy Americans? You continue to say that the President wants to "raise" taxes, but that's not what he is proposing. You say that removing these tax breaks will have a devastating effect on business, but just for the sake of argument couldn't you make a compromise and demand that Corporate taxes be protected from any changes?

I think Boehner has become your tool and it really is become a disgrace. Yes you were successful in your political takeover of the 2010 elections and your influx helped the Republican party achieve the majority in the House but you aren't the majority. Boehner has made it appear that your vision for the Republican party is shared by all. I'm sorry but I totally disagree.

You guys should be satisfied that your resistance has forced the Democrats voluntarily put their sacred cows on the cutting board. I think it's total insanity that you guys refuse to do the same. Compromise is at the center of what our nation was founded on, without it the Declaration of Independence would have abolished slavery in this nation (Jefferson almost eased that one by you. No one would have guessed a slave owner would want to abolish slavery, but compromised, took it out, and kept his slaves until he died).

I hope the real Republicans finally decide to stand up and tell you freshman to go sit your unruly asses down before you fuck up everyone's chance at re-election in 2012!

...Hate It or Love It; Either Way You Felt Somethin'